Sunday, July 13, 2003

Anybody Know A Good Cave?

(written July 12, 10 PM)

At the moment, I’m in ‘scenic’ Flint, Michigan, following my family reunion. My last few days have been quite interesting; I suppose I’ll take it from the top.

My sister Katie came up from St. Louis on Wednesday, one of three extra houseguests at that time. She can almost stand me by now, it seems; at least the insults were less cruel this time around. Katie got along beautifully with the other inmates at the professor’s house. After all Trey’s jokes involving my sister, he and she found a rapport with the “your mom” humor. Ariel cooked again for all the guests, and impressed me with incredible salmon [something I did not believe could be done]. Esther and Rachel found Katie’s good side by ordering us guys around. And she even thought Lam’s tarantulas were so cute.

Then, this morning began at 6 AM Chicago time. Relations removed dropped off our cousin Emily to drive with Katie and I to the reunion. Emily was glad to see Katie rather than just boring old Patrick, so the two chatted in the back seat for the first 180 miles. As we neared Flint, my sister now driving, I started asking about my cousins’ names. I’m awful with names, and I have a truckload of cousins; bad combination, eh? So Emily and Katie filled in the blanks and quizzed me as we pulled up to the park.

I began talking to my cousins, only to be met with laughter at every comment. It took a while for me to realize that Emily and Katie had combined to lie to me about all the names of the cousins whom I didn’t remember. Gabe became John while Sam became Gabe, siblings were transferred from one uncle to another, and they told me my aunt Rita’s new baby was Scott. The baby was Teresa. Terrible skullduggery. That’s why I’m going to become a hermit, and I want to know whether there are any nice caves available.

Anyhow, the embarrassment was soon forgotten, and I spent an afternoon having squirt gun duels, Ultimate Frisbee matches and a familyy-wide game of softball. I had the energy level of a five-year old, but now I’m paying for that in aches and in exhaustion. So this is all for tonight.


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