Tuesday, October 14, 2003

When I talk about the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I could talk about its historical evolution in the Church. I could mention its biblical basis. I could discuss the psychological importance of accountability or the need for an experienced confessor. But the best apologia for Confession I know is the effect it has on my perception and action.

After confessing today, I felt an almost physiological relief from all of the tension I’d built up inside. As I walked across campus, I heard for once the sounds in the silence- feet scraping, wind blowing, a key turning in a lock. I saw as if for the first time the fallen yellow leaves, the Gothic buildings against overcast sky, the light blaring from the windows. The simple experience of that stroll brought such beauty to me.

That relief and wonder freed me for a while of all the petty self-absorption I’m accustomed to. I had conversations I would not have had on another day, listening rather than waiting for a chance to speak. There are two things I learned this evening that I might never have known otherwise, two people I might never have known as well as I do now.

I know that the Sacrament isn’t the only way that God forgives. But the experience of it is so filled with grace that I just couldn’t do without it.

P.S. I’m now the senior math major on my floor, which puts me in the role that Josh took upon himself last year (as an actual senior). After I came home at 10, I helped Casey with limits, Peter with geometry, Russell with Cauchy’s Inequality, Kevin with a max-min problem, Erik with combinatorics, Allie with delta-epsilon proofs, and James with centripetal acceleration (physics). I just live for this...

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