Sunday, June 11, 2006

That There, That's Not Me

I know I've disappeared completely from the blogosphere of late. Really, I'm hiding from all of you. I was having a great time in the Midwest, just brimming with joy at my first-year Chicago reunion. I finally got my fix with respect to U of C conversations, those that can wander comfortably between late-'60s art rock, the application of category theory to sociology, what premodern ethicists would have thought about amphetamines, the concept of theosis as remedy to Western soteriological crises, etc. Aside from two events that were, well, far too cool for the likes of me, it was a great time.

(Aside: I finally came to the realization that the U of C's character and mission is essentially that of the last great legatee of the Enlightenment, with all the good and ill that signifies, all its unreasoned faith in the efficacy of reasoned disputation to overcome bias and self-interest, the grand quest for the truth coupled with the bald assertion that we mortals can indeed search it out and possess it. And I am a legatee of that pursuit, as well.)

But somehow it all drained away on the drive back to St. Louis, prior to the flight back to California. I feel like one sleepwalking, lost in the cosmos (to steal from my most interesting of recent reads, Walker Percy's book of that title), beset by demons of epistemology in the garden of ontology, wondering whether I really have the will to be a saint, sullen and withdrawn like the child I once was (who preferred the company of his own imagination to that of any other people, and ran around the deserted parts of the playground by himself playing the dinosaur hero). So I haven't exactly been up to writing anything of substance.

Trust me, though, I'll be back. All it takes is my next epiphany.

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