Tuesday, October 30, 2007

transports, motorways and tram lines

The road to heartbreak is sometimes paved with lilies.

Lesson 1: One sublimely romantic week does not mean that fate is on your side.
Lesson 2: Reserve is the better part of honesty.
Lesson 3: Sometimes you're not what she's looking for, and there's nothing you can do.
Lesson 4: Sometimes you had a chance and simply screwed it up.
Lesson 5: Sometimes you will never know which of the above was the case.
Lesson 6: The cosmos does not have to conform to your dreams.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The ugly part of recovering my sanity is realizing what I've done. I've just had several weeks- perhaps even the last two months- in which I've succumbed alternately to mania, depression, panic attacks, obsession, and paranoia. I am not speaking metaphorically or exaggerating.

This- at least the extreme to which it's gone- is not something I'd ever gone through before. I've not yet decided how best to start dealing with it, except to start taking some advice.

UPDATE: In hindsight, as usual, I've been a little too melodramatic here. My housemate who's studying to be a clinical psychologist assured me that I hadn't actually gone crazy, and I haven't wreaked the sort of devastation in social life that I'd feared. I think.

But I still don't know whence the anxiety and other moods hailed from, with the intensity that they had. I'll work on it.

Friday, October 19, 2007


All's well. That's all.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I'm glad I still have my wonder and awe, because sometimes nothing else is appropriate.