Monday, October 22, 2007

The ugly part of recovering my sanity is realizing what I've done. I've just had several weeks- perhaps even the last two months- in which I've succumbed alternately to mania, depression, panic attacks, obsession, and paranoia. I am not speaking metaphorically or exaggerating.

This- at least the extreme to which it's gone- is not something I'd ever gone through before. I've not yet decided how best to start dealing with it, except to start taking some advice.

UPDATE: In hindsight, as usual, I've been a little too melodramatic here. My housemate who's studying to be a clinical psychologist assured me that I hadn't actually gone crazy, and I haven't wreaked the sort of devastation in social life that I'd feared. I think.

But I still don't know whence the anxiety and other moods hailed from, with the intensity that they had. I'll work on it.

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